Living in Switzerland – How To Switzerland (Part 1/2)

If you are a Swiss citizen living in Tunisia, there is one question you are bound to hear frequently:

„Why did you leave wealthy, perfect Switzerland to come to Tunisia?“

For Tunisians, this is a completely absurd idea.

Voluntarily leave a European country?

A country with security, cleanliness, a healthcare system, money and order?

Why on earth would anyone move from there to here?

Especially if someone has never been to Europe – let alone Switzerland – they cannot even begin to imagine that ‘perfect’ sometimes means perfectly suffocating.

So I decided to write down my answer in detail.

Because the reasons cannot be explained in three sentences.

Switzerland is beautiful, yes.

But it is also a country full of unspoken rules, social taboos and silent expectations that come as a culture shock, especially for people with a southern European understanding of society.

And that’s exactly why I’m now presenting my list of things that are officially or unofficially prohibited in Switzerland –

in other words, a detailed explanation of

why I prefer to live my life in Tunisia

– and why I don’t voluntarily live in a perfectly polished glass display case.

Living in Switzerland – my personal observations

Things that are officially or unofficially prohibited in Switzerland

(…or simply so socially frowned upon that, as a foreigner, you’ll be pulverised before you can say ‘Hoi’.)

1) Smoking – Switzerland’s ultimate enemy

In Switzerland, smoking is a kind of high-risk sport.

It is formally prohibited everywhere and informally even more so.

• Not only in restaurants, cafés, shops and bars.
• Also at train stations and bus stops (outdoors!).
• In your own rented flat → Go ahead – but only if you want to sell your kidney for the final coat of paint.
• On the balcony → theoretically allowed, but in practice the non-smoker above you will hunt you down if a single cloud drifts into their open window.
• At the lake → a gust of wind in the wrong direction = social death.
• Next to a stranger who happens to be breathing? No, either.
• In the car with children → forbidden, or at least a no-go with immediate moral death sentence.

2) Night-time rest – the sacred commandment

From 10 p.m. to 7 a.m., Switzerland is not simply quiet at night – it is sacredly silent.

During this time, you may:

• not cough.
• not close the toilet lid too loudly.
• not move a chair.
• not own a dog that breathes.
• not speak loudly.
• not laugh (quiet giggling is acceptable – but QUIET).
• not vacuum.
• not shower.
• not play the piano.
• not sing.
• not live.

Everything about it?

→ Note on the door.
→ Complaint to the property management.
→ Police, if music is involved.

3) Dogs – please treat like quiet decorations

The Swiss love dogs – as long as they don’t bark, run around, seem lively or show emotion.

• Dogs should not bark – not during the day, and certainly not at night.
• Biting or scratching = report to the authorities, veterinary office and something akin to social execution.

Free running only if it:

• moves slowly
• freezes like a Buddha statue, at ‘Stop!’
• functions like Lassie on Ritalin in every situation

Anything else?
→ Leash.
→ Or neighbourhood stake.

4) Waste – Switzerland’s supreme discipline

The waste regime has its own rules, its own philosophy and perhaps even its own religion.

This is how you get rid of rubbish:

• You may only use the official, state-approved bin bags.
• They cost about as much as a good dinner in Sousse.
• Only put them out on the correct day of the week.
• And definitely NOT the night before.
• Don’t oversleep either: get up at 6 a.m. if the collection is at 7:03 a.m.

Missed the collection?
Don’t even think about putting the smelly bag on the balcony, in the stairwell or in the basement.
Keep it in your flat for a week.
Does it really stink? Well done. That’s your punishment for oversleeping on collection day again.

Cigarette butts belong in your wallet, in your sock or anywhere else – just NOT on the ground.
Public bins are for absolute emergencies only.
A piece of sandwich paper weighing less than 20 grams is fine.
Anything else is vandalism.

Plastic bags? They’re available. For a fee, of course.
And morally speaking, you’re still a polluter.
Anyone with any decency brings their own reusable jute bag.

Let’s continue with prohibitions 5, 6, 7 and my conclusion in this article How To Switzerland – Teil 2 von 2