Arriving in Tunisia – One Week in Kantaoui: Heat, Hormones & „Haute Standing“

Arrival: August 14, 2025. – Exactly seven days later, I am typing these lines in Kantaoui.

🛬 Drama-free touchdown

Despite almost a three-hour delay, entering Tunis was uneventful: no checks, no unnecessary fuss. Luna came back in her crate on the luggage carousel – shaken, a bit upset, but safe and sound. Hello, Tunisia.

Arriving in Tunisia – first days between closeness and overwhelm

💥 Welcome committee & immediate rule-breaking

In the apartment, my wonderful ex-sister-in-law, her husband Chaker, and his nephew Riadh were waiting. Rule No. 1 (“No men in my apartment”) basically died on the doorstep. And since I am both management and staff of the Department of Mass Hysteria & Chaos, rule No. 2 (“No sex without love”) soon followed.

It should have been simple, right? Just say “No, thanks.” In my defense: Hormones. Riadh is hot, the weather in Kantaoui is twice as hot, and – surprise even to myself – after five years, I was finally feeling hot again.

😴 Just sex is… just sex

The sex was simply bad. Not okay, not even mediocre – it was honestly terrible. A tedious, clumsy interaction with foreign skin on my skin and hands on my body, clearly belonging to a beginner. The so-called expert, who apparently considered himself a magnificent lover, had no idea how to do it right. Lots of talk, nothing behind it.

What was missing was not a dramatic, beautiful tangle of love and pain. What was missing was the one thing that really matters: actual competence and skill. Without that, it doesn’t matter at all whether it happens or not.

What remains is a feeling of absolute anti-climax, that little nasty feeling of having wasted time on a pompous disappointment.

To be clear: I don’t suffer from regret over the act itself. I suffer from lack of sleep and back pain. And frankly: boredom.

Living in Kantaoui – expectations, heat, and reality

🛋️ “Haute Standing,” my… ass

Main suspect for the back pain: my so-called “Haute Standing” setup – a broken sofa, a defective air conditioner, and plastic furniture screaming “holiday apartment, wrong movie.” Yes, La Familia was right: too expensive for what it is. Ouch in the wallet, ouch in the back.

To be fair: The location is truly dreamy. It’s just currently so unbearably hot that even I – lover of summer and sun – hide indoors during the day. At plus 40°C, the terrace serves as a professional grill plate.

🐕 Luna status

Luna lives, sniffs, eats, and throws me looks like: “Seriously, human? Plastic chairs?” We’re getting used to it. She to the heat, me to the furniture drama.

Everyday life in Tunisia – week one in improvisation mode

🔎 The first week: searching, finding, cursing

This week I mainly looked for: water, a screwdriver, a SIM card, a fan, receipts, patience. The learning curve is steep; I’m still climbing. Details another time. For today: Tunisia does not test you – it sorts you. In patience. In humor. In priorities.

📝 Seven-day summary

• I have arrived – physically yes; emotionally in progress.
• Rules look nice on paper; reality brings its own stationery.
• ‚Just sex‘ doesn’t fill gaps – it only briefly undresses them and leaves the edges sore.
• The apartment is overpriced, the location is golden, and the furniture is… educational (it teaches humility).
• I sweat, curse, laugh. Tunisia and I – we are still warming up.

To be continued. Next time I’ll report from the trenches between hardware store, bazaar, and bureaucracy – and why ‚just quickly looking for something‘ is a local unit of time.